Your relationship map (see last week’s article) identifies the individuals who matter most for your work. Growing relationships with those distanced partners without a hallway or coffee line in common means being intentional in three ways.

Listen well.

Listen for context, not just content. In remote calls, we capture “what was said”. Next-level listening explores “where it fits” and “what was unsaid”. Ask the framing question: “What does success look like from your seat?” or “Who else will this touch?” Keep a running “context file” per partner: goals, constraints, preferred channels, deadlines, and any new vocabulary. After interaction review and update this backstory. Add “What they’re optimizing for“ and “what they’re worried about“. You’ll serve them faster and better.

Bonus: Even better listening captures personal details your colleague shares. Your “distance partner” is a person. Their daughter is going off to college; their pet cat is missing; they care for aging parents; they live in a close-knit community. Remembering small (or large) things about your distanced colleague demonstrates that you care about the relationship.

Serve well.

Show up with a service attitude, not a consumer attitude. Consumers ask for updates; partners remove friction. Before you hit send, scan your message for burden: Are you giving them work or taking work off their plate? Try this structure: (a) What I’m doing, (b) what I need (if anything), (c) what I’ll do next by when. Volunteer micro-help: “Want me to draft the first pass?” or “I can join your standup for 10 minutes to unblock this.” Service builds trust because it lowers cost-to-collaborate. Your goal is to remove cost, burden, and friction. When you think of your favorite partners in the past, I bet those who minimized these negatives bubble to the top of your “A” list.

Bonus: Instruct your AI of choice to scan all of your emails for burden. Sometimes we add friction without realizing it. Sometimes it’s necessary, so let those times be rare.

Collaborate well.

Work on something hard together on purpose. Relationships deepen when you create value shoulder-to-shoulder. If you’re not already in the soup together doing hard things, identify a real but finite challenge (90 minutes to two weeks) and propose a collaboration to create meaningful value. Agree up-front on the definition of done, who owns which pieces, and a check-in rhythm (async or short video call.) End with a short retro: “What made this easy/hard? What do we carry forward?”

Bonus: Strengthen your collaborations with a light-weight but reliable structure.

Cadence that creates depth:

• Weekly 15: One tight agenda—status, blockers, one decision.
• Office hours: Same 30-minute block each week where people can drop in.
• Asynchronous rituals: quick video walkthroughs, decision logs, and a shared “deltas & thanks” thread (what changed, who helped).

Lightweight artifacts that help at a distance:

• Decision brief (1 page): Problem, options, recommendation, owners, dates.
• Context file (shared): Goals, stakeholders, definitions, constraints.
• Working glossary: Terms we use, what they mean here.

Small next step.

Pick one relationship from your map. This week, (a) ask a context question, (b) send one service-forward message, and (c) propose a small but valuable collaboration. Put all three on the calendar. Momentum beats chemistry.