Last week we covered asking for help. This is the other side of the coin: offering help that lands as partnership rather than as a burden, territory grab, or condescension (ouch).

Principle 1: Fit their workstyle

Help should slot into how your partner works and not make new work. Do you know their workstyle? Here are a few workstyle-influenced offers that would actually help without friction.

• Style: Research → Draft → Revise → Publish
• Offer: a source table, a straw-outline, or a comparison grid. Timebox your contribution and hand off at phase gates.

• Style: Prototype-first
• Offer: Build a throwaway mock with labeled assumptions (“react to nav only”). Make it reversible.

• Style: Talk-to-think
• Offer: Host a 15-minute “talk it out,” record, then deliver a one-pager they can edit.

• Style: Quiet-to-think
• Offer: Send an editable draft with 2–3 highlighted questions. No meeting required.

• Style: Decision sprinter
• Offer: Present two options, tradeoffs, your recommendation, and a default if no reply.

Test for fit: “Will this be easy for you to use? If not, what would be?”

Principle 2: Take ground together

Your offer is a statement of shared objectives.

• Lead with the shared outcome: “We need to ship a credible v1 Friday.”
• Draw guardrails up front: “I’ll assemble quotes and constraints; you own the narrative voice.”
• Be specific + timeboxed: “Let’s do a 90-minute spike. I’ll send you my work; keep what helps. We will toss the rest, no worries.”

Test for ownership: If someone reading your message couldn’t tell who owns what, it’s a territory risk. Clarify owners and dates.

Principle 3: Remove the condescension cues

Good help never sounds like a rescue.

• Avoid: “I’ll fix this” / “Let me take this over.”
• Use: “I can carry this piece so yours moves faster.”
• Avoid: unsolicited redlines on craft (voice, design choices).
• Use: feedback on outcomes, risks, and constraints; leave craft to the owner.

Test for respect: “If this isn’t useful, say so. I’ll adjust to how you like to work.”

More Do / Don’t

Do:

• “What would make my help useful vs. in the way? Give me two do’s and two don’ts and I’ll stick to them.”
• Provide artifacts, not chores. Links, highlights, assumptions, and a TL;DR.
• Offer options. “Two choices—A or B. Prefer one?”
• Mind timing & time zones. Deliver when they can act.

Don’t:

• Add meetings by default, send walls of work, or create review chores.
• Crowd the room. Instead, keep CCs minimal unless ownership requires it.
• Chase every hour. Rather, set an SLA (“If no reply by Thu 3 pm ET…”) and honor it.
• Miss delivery. If you slip, notify your colleague early with a new, firm time.
• Ignore their ‘no.’ If it’s not useful, thank them and ask what would be.

Tomorrow’s Plan

1. Pick one remote colleague and write a one-paragraph process guess
2. Confirm you understand their workstyle. (They may not realize they have a “style”… doesn’t everyone do it this way?)
3. Make one specific, timeboxed offer that fits their process and clarify ownership.
4. Deliver; then close the loop with credit and a 3-bullet impact note.